Insipid Inseams

The tailor seemed to be on the make,
he licked his damned,
thin-lipped chops
far too demonstratively;
it bordered on lascivious.

The fact the he was a lispy flame
didn't so much bother me as the
duration with the tape measure
tucked into my groin
making his inseam measure.
That and the stupid-ass,
flappy-eyelid eye contact
which accompanied it.

Sheesh.

The post procedure
vasectomy tenderness
was none of his business.
It would have been doubly
awkward in the explaining
considering I was being
fitted for a wedding tux
and have always wanted children.

Besides, I have always over explained
and am trying to wean myself of this habit.
I'm failing, as you can see.

Point is-
I think I've made up
my mind not to marry.

That whole tailor scene
being so seamlessly insipid.